Yeho by Anasis
Part. 10
Part. 10
I
swallowed my moan and grabbed onto the bed sheet. My eyes staring at the
ceiling behind his shoulder shook as my body was shaking. His low but heavy
breathing and wet skin contacting me felt sad and miserable. I closed my eyes and turn my head and bit my lips. Something warm, wet, and soft touched
my neck. I felt sadder feeling that warmth was relieving my heart. I unconsciously moved my waist hearing my name in low voice and heat that was thrusting inside of my body.
“Huk…”
I loosen my body after letting out
a small moan. I was still facing the other way and a wet forehead
lightly touched on my neck.
“Yeho.”
He called out my name again. Somehow
I felt like crying hearing his calling. His big and hot palm grabbed my skinny
hand.
“I heard you skipped your dinner.”
He said it while he was touching my
hand.
“I ate too much during lunch. So
don’t scold anyone.”
I was barely able to reply with my
hoarse voice while looking at the blurry silhouette of the moon through the
curtain. I remembered he got mad at the chief because I skipped a meal. He laughed because of what I said and stood up. His overly warm body got
separated from me, and a cold night air smeared into my body. I shivered
because of that and soon a thin blanket got pulled all the way up to my
shoulders. And a big hand pat on top of it.
“I know. I heard that too. You
finished most of the food. Still you should have taken at least a spoon. You
will probably get hungry by now.”
I didn’t laugh hearing his teasing
sound. I just closed my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. Then he removed his
hand on my shoulder and laughed again, but it didn’t sound that cheerful. I
sighed deeply inside of me and crouched even more. He opened his mouth again.
“Upcoming week will be the start of
the sowing season. We do ceremony on that day. You will have to come out with
the Empress.”
I stoop up because of what he said.
The blanket that was covering my body slide down to my waist, but I didn’t noticed it.
“Your Majesty, what do you mean…?”
“You are my Madame. Other concubines
will come out and celebrate. It doesn’t make sense if you don’t come out.”
“…Is that North Empire’s courtesy?”
He smiled showing his shiny white
teeth after hearing my question.
“If the courtesy is like that, then
our Madame who cares more about courtesy than the courtesy teacher will
definitely come out? Yes. And Madame is the highest among the concubines. The
Empress stands on my right side and you need to stand on my left side. Other
concubines will stand as their rank.”
I dropped my head hearing his reply.
When I was getting the Madame title 20 days ago, the stares were very sharp. I
wonder how uncomfortable I will feel on that day. I wore the fanciest dress
that even the Empress couldn’t wear and bow down by myself to Heavenly Purified
Palace where the Emperor stays and received the title. And I went to Land
Embracing Palace where the Empress stays.
I went inside the hall and all other concubines were standing in
straight line, and I showed my respect to the Empress. My face was covered in
layers of veils but thinking somebody will notice that I’m different than other woman,
and concubines' beauties like flowers and the Empress more beautiful than a flower
sharp stare made me even more timid. Thinking I have to stand in front of their
sight during the Sowing Season Ceremony made my heart freeze. And this time I
have to wear a traditional dress not a wedding dress. I can’t even think of
covering my face with veils this time. I sighed deeply thinking all these worries.
“You don’t want to go out?”
He asked. I shook my head while
facing the ground.
“No.”
“…Tell me if you don’t want to go
out.”
“It’s not like that.”
I replied once more and covered my
bare skin with the blanket. It was obvious that there will be a bad saying if I
don’t go out just because I don’t want to. If I was the evil spirit from the
Flower Fence Palace, I wouldn’t care if I go out or not, but now I’m the
Madame of the Flower Fence Palace. I wasn’t the princess from the small kingdom
who doesn’t know if I was alive or dead. I was the Madame. The Madame that
stays deep inside the Heavenly Purified Palace…. That kind of Madame had
to be careful every movement I do, and I had to think carefully before I talk.
My flaw doesn’t end only with me. It can be his flaw that he forcedly placed
me here. So I can’t not go out. There are many other things I have to think while I’m out. I have to call Soa right away tomorrow to make the dress for
that kind of ceremony and learn what I have to do not to make any mistake.
I was frowning thinking of all these
worries, and he sighed and said.
“If you don’t want to go out, tell
me you don’t want to go out.”
I looked at him and looked puzzled.
“I told you it’s not like that. Why
are you keep asking?”
I questioned him, and he frowned.
“You don’t look so well.”
“Ah…”
I touched my face.
“Then it’s probably because I have
to think what I have to prepare. I have to see what kind of traditional dress I
have to wear and learn North Empire’s tradition because I don’t know anything.”
He rested his chin on his hand.
“…Though you still not like it
right?”
It made me little annoyed. I told
you it’s not like that. He’s keep asking.
“It’s not because I don’t want to go
out. Why are you keep asking me that question?”
“I want to hear you say you don’t
want it.”
I closed my mouth and opened my eyes
widely. Then he had a somehow cold but lonely smile on his face.
“After that incident, I never
heard you saying no.”
I knew right away what that incident he
was talking about. It was the day I told him I want to leave the palace. The
day I told him I want to go to my sister. The day he held me.
I remembered that day and avoided
his eyes.
“Do this, do that. I’m the one who
always want something from you. You show you don’t want it, but soon you give
up and accept it. You don’t even say you don’t want to eat it. I know I order
them to give you a big meal. You don’t eat it, but you don’t say you don’t want
to eat it. Last time I punished the chief and right after that you ate too much
and got sick. You think I didn’t know that? Today is the same. You never show
anything, say it’s too much, say no, or say you are sick. Because you don't tell me, I can’t even show
you I know those.”
I just avoided his eyes and quietly
listened to him. I saw a blurry silhouette of the moon through the closed
curtain. He looked at my face and continued on.
“Do this, do that, don’t like this,
like that. Say these. Don’t just say what you have to do. Say something you
want to do. Why don’t you see the rain anymore? Why don’t you ask about the
magnolia you always asked? Did you even see the magnolia tree in the garden?”
…I couldn’t see it. Soa told me
about it though. He moved a big magnolia tree and planted in the garden. She
laughed while saying it was so big that the workers had a hard time. But I
couldn’t even think of stepping outside. I was too scare that somebody might
see me walking to the garden. Same goes when it rains. I was afraid that people
might say something about me because Madame opens the window and shows her
body unmannerly. I just stayed in this room and occasionally hear stories from
outside from Soa. I didn’t have to care anything in the Flower Fence Palace,
but this is a different place. There are many eyes like maids, servants, and
guards. I knew it very well that I need to be really be careful with eyes like
those.
“Yeho.”
He called me. He grabbed my arm
probably because he felt distress because I was just staring at the moon. I
looked down and quietly whispered.
“It was because it’s too cold for my
body during the rain. I couldn’t go see the magnolia tree because of that, Your
Majesty. I’m sorry.”
“You still don’t say no.”
He let go of my arm. He stood up and
wore the night gown and left the bed. I couldn’t even dare to see his back and
just sat still. His cold voice called out the eunuch, and I just fixed the
blanket. He announced he will head to the meeting hall after getting helped
from eunuch to wear his beautiful attire. Why the meeting hall? I questioned.
It will be uncomfortable for him to sleep there because that place is for
government affairs. It’s not that late for him to go to the Land Embrace Palace. If he
doesn’t like Land Embrace Palace, he could go to other concubine’s palace. I
was thinking like this, but I couldn’t bring it out of my mouth. I couldn’t say
anything to him while he was heading to the meeting hall.
I sighed quietly. I’m up to here. I
lie down and pulled the blanket all the up to my head. I won’t be in his way. I
promised myself that I would hide myself in this palace, but still I'm stupid
that I can’t get rid of my jealousy. I don’t see the rain and gave up on the
magnolia, but I can’t stand him going to other women’s room. I’m barely that.
The reason why I don’t say what’s
inside of my mind is because he might leave me.
The reason why I don’t say no is he
might get sick of me complaining too much.
The reasons why I’m so sensitive
about the courtesy, the reason why I give up so many things and hide myself
here is if I do that, no one will be able to kick me out. I can stay with him
little bit longer.
Now I can’t even say I want to
leave. I can’t even breathe without him. How can I leave him. I should have
left him when I thought I could. This shallow and shallow but suddenly got deeper
feeling is stopping me from running away. So every night I cried inside of me.
When he goes to sleep, I go to the corner of the bed and cover my face with my
hands and hold my cry. I'm crying even now.
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aww, Yeho, you poor thing! :'( I hope he finds some happiness later on.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much as always for the update! We are able to read this beautiful story because of you. Fighting! ;)
So sad! Yeho has a lot of thing he want to talk about but he couldn't. Hopefully he can talk all about that because it shows his love to the Emperor
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the update. It's getting more interesting and maybe there is more conflict.
ReplyDeleteThank u so much ...poor yeho
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who disagree with yeho. It actually a small matter that if he say it out loud to the emperor, he will understand it. He only makes things more complicated then it is. You worried too much Yeho. But that is understandable. Just one thing you should tell him how you feel don't just keep it in heart. :/
ReplyDeleteThank you for this update. I like this story a lot. I hope Yeho will open up to the emperor soon! I don't like to see him suffering :(
ReplyDeleteIt seems the emperor doesn't like the easy way. Like a hunter he searches some kind of resistance. But Yeho seems to give up all opposition. He is a little bit confused, shared between his feeling for the emperor and the difficulties his rank gives him in court. He wants to do the right thing because he fears to loose the emperor. But in the way he forgets to be himself.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the king will try to make Yeho react in a way or another.
Impatient to read the next chapter. I like this one a lot.
Thank you for sharing it with us.